Monday, December 17, 2007

Foolish Me

Sometimes I wonder about me, I think back on my life and just wonder. I was not popular in school, I always seemed to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I wanted friends, had a number of them, yet was jealous of those that had more. I was not pretty, could not do my hair the way others could. My hair was curly, theirs nice and straight.

I did not get A's, in all my grades, some years I did not get A's in any. My self image was always bad, and I doubted I could do much. My fear of failure was awful and controlling.

I was made fun of by the more popular people. My last name was Weingartner, so I was called Hineygartner and other "nice" names. All this by the smart, pretty, popular people. What was wrong with me?

When I was young I felt "something" in my heart though. I wanted to be liked by them and wanted to be like them so I would be accepted. There was something that seemed to protect me from doing what the others were doing. A voice. A Power. Even when I wanted to go off and do, it would not let me go too far. Stopped in my tracks, by a voice.

Some years later, as I could see God's working in my life and His preserving me, keeping me and protecting me some verses hit me as to why. I am a fool. One of the verses that told me this was 1 Corinthians 1:26-28:
For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen...
Consider my calling? God chose the foolish ones, not the most popular? The base things of the world? The despised? God chose me for His service?

Verse 30 says
But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, "LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD."
As a fool, I can't claim anything on my own, my wisdom, all that I am comes from Him.

If I had my way back in my younger years I would have been popular, had all A's, been homecoming queen with the best looking guy in the school at my side. I would have partied and run around, been rich and did whatever I wanted.

I am glad God's ways are higher than mine and that He has chosen the foolish things for Himself.

This fool has been chosen for a purpose and as such I have the best calling, the best future and life for His glory and honor. May I trust Him to live my calling.