Saturday, October 20, 2007

Anyone experience this? I need advice

Today is my six week anniversary at blogging. I am amazed that I am actually doing it and loving it. I used to wonder how people that blogged found so much to write about, day after day. I still wonder! Yet things are there.

I do not know about you, but for me I find there is so much going on in my life and around me that there seems to be a shortage of time, and yet this is an outlet for me and a "must" in my day. I am hoping that something I say and experience can help another and what they say and experience can help me.

Today that thought is on my mind. I wonder how many of you have experienced what I am now experiencing and can maybe help me. Your comments are so welcome on this "problem".

My neighbor is a man that has both legs amputated from diabetes. He lives alone and seems to be quite bullheaded. We have had to revive him many times because he does not watch his sugar and eat right, but does not want to go live with family or in an assisted living home. He calls them old peoples homes and "he is not going there".

This past week we had to bring him around twice. The first time he came out of the shock ok, the second time he was having convulsions and we could not get him out and had to call an ambulance. We also called his sister.

His house is a filthy mess, dishes and pots piled high on the counter, the floors are cluttered, the table and couch the same way. His bedroom has no sheets on the bed and stuff all over. I did not get into the bathroom, so I can only imagine.

His sister and he have trouble getting along, they love each other, but both seem a bit hard headed. I really like both of them, and am trying to keep peace. I want to do what we can to help him, and probably understand more than anybody what he is going through since my first husband was diabetic and more than once had to be revived. Willie took care of his sugar and monitored it closely, yet still had problems later in his life, this man does not monitor or eat right.

His sister and I have talked, as well as I talked to him, and want to do what I can. I think I can get farther than his sister, but hate to stick my nose in, just show up and tell him I am cleaning his house, and he better take care of himself.

I have sat and talked with him about his sugar, how it is so important to check it and to make sure he eats right. I understand his problems, and gave him ideas about how to deal with some of it. My past has given me a lot of insight into these things.

We sent food to him last night, and probably will now and then to help him, but that house! I thought of having some "clean up" evenings and asking his sister to help, but am afraid the two of them will just fight. So, how would you handle the problem? Any ideas?


Kacie said...

Yikes. How did you know that your neighbor needed revived? Did he call, or did you happen to check on him?

One of these days, he'll need revived and nobody will know to help him.

Perhaps he should look into getting one of those "Life Alert" necklaces so he can push a button to summon an ambulance. Or, if he has a phone at his side at all times, that would be helpful.

I think it's wonderful that you're so willing to help him. If you can, be honest with him about his living conditions. He probably already knows it needs cleaned, but is either unable or afraid to ask for help.

If he offers you some sort of payment as a thank-you, graciously accept it. It may be his way of not feeling like a charity case.

Though he doesn't want to go into assisted living, perhaps he would be willing to have regular home visits or meals on wheels? Or even a housekeeper.

Best wishes!

Peggie said...

We have no wheels on meals and all he gets is disability, so paying for anyone is out of the question.

I did not know, just happened to check on him. He never lets us know, we just happen upon it, but this time was worse since he was convulsing as well.

Thanks for your comment, I much appreciate it.

Gis said...

peggy check back in a few days, and ill try to come up with a 3 col version
thanks for the interest